To sum up my former unwritten philosophy: If I can't do it now, it isn't worth doing at all. After three years dating, we got married three weeks after he said something romantic like “OK I’ll marry you”. I didn’t dare plan a wedding and then wait, pretty sure he would change his mind if waited. I never planned a vacation in advance. I couldn't imagine waiting and how did I know what I’d be doing when the time came. If I start a diet today I expect to wake up thin tomorrow or why bother.
I wanted to be recovered from the pain and trauma of divorce immediately. I needed to know instantly what would be the results of the divorce settlement, where I would live, where I would work, what would be the custody arrangements. Why didn’t I feel better immediately? Why weren’t the anger, grief and pain gone immediately?
Looking back I see how the lack of patience affected my marriage and other relationships. I am finally coming to recognize it’s best to be patient and wait for the right time to talk to the other person – not just blurt out – what did you do? where did you go? when are you going to sign settlement papers?
Galatians 5:22 says "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience” ..
There are times we are to be patient, but there are also times to take action:
Proverbs 31:15: “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.”
1 Peter 1:13 “Therefore prepare your minds for action ... “
The most difficult for me is knowing when to wait patiently and when to take action.
As a single mother with a 10 year old child, one day I came home and my next door neighbor told me she was evicted. I immediately decided we might as well also move. I went to church the next Sunday, remembered a house for sale nearby and decided to drive by. There was an open house going on. I went in, liked it, put in an offer and that was that! Later that day I remembered I had never prayed about it and then prayed something like “ oh by the way God, I bought a house, hope it’s ok with you”. Although I knew we are to pray, wait for God’s answer, and then take action after getting his answer, I blindly went forward on my own power. Never mind that I couldn’t afford it.
Has impatience ever affected your life or relationships? Do you remember to wait for God’s answers before jumping into action?
Ps. 40:1 “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.”
Ps 37.7 “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him ..”
James 5:7-8: "Be patient then brothers until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too be patient and stand firm because the Lord's coming is near."
In this passage in James we see the farmer waiting for the land to yield its crop but we know he had to first plant the seed. After he plants the seed he is to be patient and wait.
How difficult is it for you to be patient and wait? Do you need to ask God for patience in certain areas of your life? Or is it time to prayerfully Take Action?
Friday, December 5, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
CAN GOD HELP YOU OVERCOME YOUR DOUBTS?
Doubt can affect all areas of our life. We can doubt ourselves, we can doubt others, and even doubt God.
My husband and I had not been getting along for a long time. I felt that he was always out at the bars watching sports, while I was home alone, feeling unloved and unwanted. After several lonely years, I began to doubt my husband ever loved me and believed no one would ever love me. We finally decided to divorce. After the divorce was final and I began to date, doubt affected not only my relationships, but even stray dates. It even affected my behavior. I remember a New Year’s Eve weekend. I had two first dates, both with desirable, attractive men. My friends wished me a “great time”. I grumbled “what’s the difference, I’ll never see them again anyway”. That’s how I felt about myself. I could always get the first date but was sure no one would want to see me a second time. I felt I had nothing to offer, I believed I was a boring lump.
I came to doubt my abilities in other ways. I had no identity of my own. I accepted a position working for a very smart perfectionist who I allowed to beat me down every day until I felt that I couldn’t do anything right. I needed the job and couldn’t leave without something else.
I felt powerless to do anything on my own, but I knew enough to pray. Throughout this time I prayed regularly and sought God's help, guidance, direction, and strength. I prayed for deeper trust, faith and peace.
What’s amazing is that I’m not the same person I was when I was being mentally battered and demeaned by my husband and my employer. I have a new confidence. I no longer feel like a boring lump. I no longer doubt myself. I know who I am, and can acknowledge my strengths and accept my weaknesses. I expect to be treated with respect and accept no less.
What caused the change in me? How did I throw off the doubt that crippled me and my relationships? Although it was a process that didn’t happen overnight, I believe it was God’s answer to my long-time prayer.
The Bible tells us that Doubt is not from God. James 1:6 “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;” and John 20:27: Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe. “
Matthew 14:27-35: “But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Lord, if it’s you, Peter replied, tell me to come to you on the water. Come, he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him, ‘You of little faith’, He said,’ why did you doubt?’. And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the son of God’. ’”
Peter sank when he took his eyes off of Jesus. He started looking at himself and his circumstances. Then Jesus said “Why did you doubt?”
Why do WE doubt? Perhaps we doubt because we are looking at our circumstances instead of relying on Jesus to calm the storm and keep us afloat.
Do you believe that God can help you to overcome your Doubts? If so, why not ask Him? You might be happy to find a new confidence, self-assurance, faith and trust emerge.
My husband and I had not been getting along for a long time. I felt that he was always out at the bars watching sports, while I was home alone, feeling unloved and unwanted. After several lonely years, I began to doubt my husband ever loved me and believed no one would ever love me. We finally decided to divorce. After the divorce was final and I began to date, doubt affected not only my relationships, but even stray dates. It even affected my behavior. I remember a New Year’s Eve weekend. I had two first dates, both with desirable, attractive men. My friends wished me a “great time”. I grumbled “what’s the difference, I’ll never see them again anyway”. That’s how I felt about myself. I could always get the first date but was sure no one would want to see me a second time. I felt I had nothing to offer, I believed I was a boring lump.
I came to doubt my abilities in other ways. I had no identity of my own. I accepted a position working for a very smart perfectionist who I allowed to beat me down every day until I felt that I couldn’t do anything right. I needed the job and couldn’t leave without something else.
I felt powerless to do anything on my own, but I knew enough to pray. Throughout this time I prayed regularly and sought God's help, guidance, direction, and strength. I prayed for deeper trust, faith and peace.
What’s amazing is that I’m not the same person I was when I was being mentally battered and demeaned by my husband and my employer. I have a new confidence. I no longer feel like a boring lump. I no longer doubt myself. I know who I am, and can acknowledge my strengths and accept my weaknesses. I expect to be treated with respect and accept no less.
What caused the change in me? How did I throw off the doubt that crippled me and my relationships? Although it was a process that didn’t happen overnight, I believe it was God’s answer to my long-time prayer.
The Bible tells us that Doubt is not from God. James 1:6 “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;” and John 20:27: Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe. “
Matthew 14:27-35: “But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Lord, if it’s you, Peter replied, tell me to come to you on the water. Come, he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him, ‘You of little faith’, He said,’ why did you doubt?’. And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the son of God’. ’”
Peter sank when he took his eyes off of Jesus. He started looking at himself and his circumstances. Then Jesus said “Why did you doubt?”
Why do WE doubt? Perhaps we doubt because we are looking at our circumstances instead of relying on Jesus to calm the storm and keep us afloat.
Do you believe that God can help you to overcome your Doubts? If so, why not ask Him? You might be happy to find a new confidence, self-assurance, faith and trust emerge.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
ARE YOU WILLING TO "DO IT AFRAID"?
Years ago I moved to house in Westport, CT with my husband and six month old baby. Four weeks later I separated from my husband. I found myself alone with no husband, no job, no money, no friends in Connecticut, and no idea how to take care of a baby or raise child alone. I remember feeling the fear, fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear about finances, fear of never finding someone to love or someone who would love me.
ISAIAH: 41:10 :SO DO NOT FEAR FOR I AM WITH YOU, DO NOT BE DISMAYED, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN AND HELP YOU; I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.”
PSALM 46:1 - “GOD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH, AN EVER PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE. THEREFORE WE WILL NOT FEAR, THOUGH THE EARTH GIVE WAY AND THE MOUNTAINS FALL INTO THE HEART OF THE SEA ...”
I notice it didn’t say “we will not fear, unless we’re going through a divorce”.
Recently I expected to spend a wonderful birthday celebration, but instead I spent the day in the hospital with chest pains & shortness of breath – praying through the day for myself and other patients. I went back and forth between calm and borderline fear and panic. I prayed there was nothing seriously wrong but forgot to pray for peace and calm. In the cat scan machine, I remembered “PS 34:4 “I SOUGHT THE LORD AND HE ANSWERED ME; HE DELIVERED ME FROM ALL MY FEARS.”
We can pray for deeper faith and for God to remove fear. First we have to be willing to pray about it, willing for Him to remove the fear. There is so much to be fearful about – we can sit home and be paralyzed by fear, or we can pray and leave the results in God’s hands.
I heard a sermon by Joyce Meyer about fear. It’s ok to feel the fear, but don’t let fear take hold of you. She said “do it afraid”. I love that - “DO IT AFRAID”.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of: being alone? Starting over, making same mistakes, choosing the wrong next person, not being a perfect parent, not having enough money, losing friends?
How does fear affect your life? Does it hold you back from doing things or going places?
How does fear affect your relationships? Fear of abandonment? Fear of rejection? Any fears you have overcome?
How can the words “do it afraid” impact your life?
Do you prefer to hold onto your fears or do you want to let go of them? When you are afraid, how can you remember to turn to God? What fears are you willing to ask for God’s help – to ask Him to remove? What fears are you unwilling to ask God for help or to remove?
Are you willing: to “do it afraid”? To ask God to remove your fears?
ISAIAH: 41:10 :SO DO NOT FEAR FOR I AM WITH YOU, DO NOT BE DISMAYED, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN AND HELP YOU; I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.”
PSALM 46:1 - “GOD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH, AN EVER PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE. THEREFORE WE WILL NOT FEAR, THOUGH THE EARTH GIVE WAY AND THE MOUNTAINS FALL INTO THE HEART OF THE SEA ...”
I notice it didn’t say “we will not fear, unless we’re going through a divorce”.
Recently I expected to spend a wonderful birthday celebration, but instead I spent the day in the hospital with chest pains & shortness of breath – praying through the day for myself and other patients. I went back and forth between calm and borderline fear and panic. I prayed there was nothing seriously wrong but forgot to pray for peace and calm. In the cat scan machine, I remembered “PS 34:4 “I SOUGHT THE LORD AND HE ANSWERED ME; HE DELIVERED ME FROM ALL MY FEARS.”
We can pray for deeper faith and for God to remove fear. First we have to be willing to pray about it, willing for Him to remove the fear. There is so much to be fearful about – we can sit home and be paralyzed by fear, or we can pray and leave the results in God’s hands.
I heard a sermon by Joyce Meyer about fear. It’s ok to feel the fear, but don’t let fear take hold of you. She said “do it afraid”. I love that - “DO IT AFRAID”.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of: being alone? Starting over, making same mistakes, choosing the wrong next person, not being a perfect parent, not having enough money, losing friends?
How does fear affect your life? Does it hold you back from doing things or going places?
How does fear affect your relationships? Fear of abandonment? Fear of rejection? Any fears you have overcome?
How can the words “do it afraid” impact your life?
Do you prefer to hold onto your fears or do you want to let go of them? When you are afraid, how can you remember to turn to God? What fears are you willing to ask for God’s help – to ask Him to remove? What fears are you unwilling to ask God for help or to remove?
Are you willing: to “do it afraid”? To ask God to remove your fears?
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